It was one of those frigid yet sunny winter mornings. High temperatures hovered in the lows and the air was sharp, biting at exposed skin. Fresh snow from the night before lay untouched and the glistening path stretched out before me like a promise.
Yet as I wandered through the park that morning, my thoughts were far from the storybook landscape surrounding me. My heart felt heavy, burdened by uncertain circumstances and significant decisions looming ahead. I was anxious and fearful, and my prayers were filled with desperation, pleading for God’s wisdom and peace where my own was lacking. I had ventured out into the biting cold, hoping to clear my mind and escape the suffocating grip of my thoughts, but they pursued me relentlessly. My mind raced and I was barely aware of placing one foot in front of the other. Weary and downtrodden, I finally spotted a bench tucked away from the main path and sank down, seeking refuge from my inner turmoil.
In that moment of stillness, I realized that while I could often hide behind a smile, functioning at a high level and suppressing my inner demons amid the distractions of daily life, here, in the quiet, I was laid bare. The beauty of the world around me contrasted sharply with the ugly, desperate thoughts I had kept at bay. It was then that I truly felt the weight of my loneliness, the stark reality of my struggles illuminated against the backdrop of the barren expanse.
Just then, a sudden rustle broke my thoughts. I glanced up to see a father and his young daughter descending the path, hand in hand, seeking their own moment of respite. As they drew near, their voices floated toward me. The little girl, bundled from head to toe in a bright yellow puffy jacket, exclaimed in her light, lilting voice about how cold it was. Her father gently nodded in agreement, then added, “But look, the sun is still shining,” as its rays spilled across the landscape, casting everything in an ethereal, golden glow. With a knowing smile, he asked her, “Can you point me to where the sun is?”
As I drew my own gaze upward, it felt as though the darkness had lifted. At that moment, the winter landscape revealed its true beauty. The sun poured light into every crevice, illuminating barren branches and making the snow sparkle like diamonds on each blade of grass. What had once seemed cold and desolate now vibrated with life and warmth, transformed into a breathtaking tapestry of light and color. As I took it all in, a sense of awe washed over me, giving way to a profound peace and a renewed sense of hope.
In my darkest hours, when I have felt empty and lost beneath heavy, clouded skies, I often find myself revisiting this moment, a poignant illustration of a father’s love as he points his daughter toward the light amid a cold and unforgiving world. Looking upward I am reminded that there is always a light to illuminate my path (Psalm 119: 105). Christ’s unwavering presence is there in the midst of my inner tempest, calming the storm and stilling turbulent waters.
But I am also reminded that this assurance did not come without great cost. For Christ endured unimaginable suffering and true darkness on the cross so that we would never have to face our darkness alone. He is a very present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1) and His light brings warmth to the weary, beleaguered soul.
I needed that reminder on that winter morning, and I have sought it many times since. There are days when the effort to lift my gaze feels immense, yet in those moments He has never failed to meet me in the shadows of the valley with unconditional love and grace. His presence transforms my darkest moments into opportunities for praise, reminding me that even in the depths of despair, I am never alone.
If you find yourself walking through a seemingly interminable darkness, remember that Christ will never cease drawing you into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). Even when the nights grow longer and darker, and the sun is hidden behind the clouds, never forget that it is always there, “for the Lord God is a sun and shield” (Psalm 84:11). All we need to do is lift our eyes, for in looking upward, we will find Him there, illuminating our path on the journey ahead.
Kathryn is the founder of That’s What She. After years spent roaming through the wilderness she met Christ and hasn’t looked back. An avid lover of storytelling and prone to run-ons, she hopes to embark on this journey with all of you and see the goodness of God in the land of the living (Psalm 27).
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